


you should've raised a baby girl; i should've been a better son

by spaceMaverick



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Body Dysphoria, Canon Trans Character, Character Study, Friends to Lovers, Gender Dysphoria, Growing Up, Growing Up Together, Nonbinary Character, Other, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Pre-Canon, Pre-Slash, Self-Discovery, Trans Character
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-24
Updated: 2020-01-24
Packaged: 2021-02-27 10:13:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 596
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22385458
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spaceMaverick/pseuds/spaceMaverick
Summary: A character study on Hollis as they grow up and realize they're nonbinary. Not on an update schedule.
Relationships: Hollis & Keith (The Adventure Zone), Hollis/Keith (The Adventure Zone)
Comments: 5
Kudos: 24





	you should've raised a baby girl; i should've been a better son

**Author's Note:**

> This isn't finished, and was originally going to be one large chapter, but it started dividing in my mind and I didn't like the feeling of having nothing to show for my work. So this will be chaptered now! No idea how long it'll be, and when it'll update or finish.
> 
> Hollis uses they/them throughout this fic because I was uncomfortable using he/him when I only know them as a nonbinary character. Other people in-universe will be misgendering them, but I'm pretty sure none of it will be malicious.
> 
> And if you didn't know already, the work title is from Mama by My Chemical Romance. Because I can't help myself.
> 
> Large gaps between paragraphs indicate passage of time/the next scene!

“And he has red eyes and a white mane and you can see fire in his eyes!” Keith shouted, gesturing wildly as he described his dragon character. “Hello,” he continued, using a deeper voice, “I’m Spark, the prince of Skycastle. Who are you?” He put out a hand.

Hollis shook his hand, making their voice ever-so-higher and smiling. “My name is Stormheart. I come with a message from King Star.” They tossed their shaggy black hair dramatically and described their character: “I’ve got blue scales and white wings and green eyes and jet-black hair, and when I move my wings glitter.”

“Is Stormheart a boy or a girl?” Keith asked, out-of-character.

“I don’t know yet,” Hollis replied. “Do dragons even have to be boys and girls?”

Keith shrugged.

“Then I guess neither.”

“Then what do I call you? ‘It?’”

Hollis shrugged this time.

Keith tilted his head. “Okay…” he straightened his back and took a step towards Hollis. “Well, Stormheart, come this way to the meeting hall, and I will take King Star’s message.” Hollis took his hand and let him lead them to a random clearing in the woods, sitting across from him at an imaginary table and delivering their message.

_Almost done! Now we just need a bit of personal information._

_What is your real first name?_

**Hollis.**

_What is your birthday?_

**August 17th, 2000.**

_What is your gender?  
Male - Female_

Hollis paused. They stared at the library computer screen, eyes flicking between the two options. Their mouse hovered over one, then the other. 

_Wait, what am I doing?_

Why were they stopped at the question? Wasn’t it obvious? What were they even confused about? Thinking about it made their skin start to crawl. They shuddered and answered the question, scrolling quickly to move it off the screen.

**Male.**

There were more options.

The room seemed to spin around Hollis as they sat in the library once more, over a year after making their account on the forum. They glanced around to make sure no one was looking before reading the screen again. On the screen was another user’s profile page, garishly decorated with neon stamps and glitter graphics. In the about section was a few short sentences:

_my names kitty! im the biggest anime geek youll ever meet. im nonbinary! ___

__Hollis read the word over and over again. Nonbinary. Non-binary. Not binary. They copy-pasted the word into Google and clicked the first link._ _

_An umbrella term for gender identities that are not exclusively either boy/man, or girl/woman. People who identify their gender as non-binary may feel they have more than one gender, don’t identify with a specific gender, or something else altogether._

Hollis exited the tab. Exited the window. They logged off the computer and made their way as casually as possible to the bathrooms. They looked at the sign on the door. _Men’s_. They stared at their shoes as they pushed through the door and rushed into a stall, perching on the toilet and bringing their knees to their chest. 

__There were… more options._ _

Shouldn’t they be excited? Why did they feel like their chest was caving in? They tried to control their breathing; someone trying to talk to them right now was the _last_ thing they needed. They thought back to the day they made that account; how they’d paused for so long on what should have been a simple question. The thought of someone else feeling the same was comforting. They focused on that, rather than the impending doom of what the hell being _nonbinary_ meant for them. 

**Author's Note:**

> I absolutely love Hollis and the opportunity to flesh them out as a character how I want to! There's TONS of self-projection here, but it's still different enough for me to have a fun challenge.


End file.
